Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
