My brain says no but my pants say off.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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