So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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