Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
