Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
