One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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