did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
