Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
