I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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