We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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