So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
