it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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