i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We had sex on a dog bed..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
