Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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