I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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