i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
