Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
