I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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