Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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