Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
