STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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