you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize