you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
