your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
