i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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