it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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