My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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