This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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