Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
