Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
