I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
