Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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