Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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