there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
