she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
As shirtless as possible
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
