i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
