He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
