I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
