how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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