I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
