What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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