OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
