Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
