if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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