I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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