girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
