What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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