It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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