would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
