I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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