how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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