two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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