Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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