I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We left an ass print on the piano.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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